Marital Bliss Calculator
By: Steve Saka
SECRET FORMULA for MARITAL BLISS
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Let me explain how this works...
((ACP + SCP/4)/YM) + 15% = GFW
Above is the SECRET formula for keeping your wife sated regarding your
cigar purchases. Here are the details:
ACP = accountable cigar purchases - these are the purchases that your wife
knows about in full such as purchases you made in her presence, ones with
a credit card trail, etc.
SCP = secret cigar purchases - these are the purchases that you manage to
sneak in under her dollar sensing radar. Cash only, no bags, she never
sees them enter the domicile - you know the drill.
YM = years married
GFW = Gifts for Wife
First step is to total the value of the ACP with a 1/4th of the SCP. Why
even claim a fourth of the SCP? For two reasons, one your wife is no
idiot, and she knows damn well that you are buying cigars behind her back
so it is best to admit to a 1/4 of the real number outright as a sign of
good faith. Also it is an excellent decoy to prevent her from
investigating deeper - trust me on this you don't want her to pull out CA
and start totaling the retail value of your collection from the dollar
marks listed in the rating section!
Now take that number and divided it by the years married, as a newlywed
she is getting a hell of a return, but it will diminish quickly over the
years. Ask her about this concept, I am pretty sure she will agree.
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Finally add 15% to the total. Why? Cause you are really a good guy, and
you want to be fair. :>
So lets see this in action for a 3K a year cigar habit after 3 years of
marriage:
$1,800.00 ACP $1,200.00 SCP / 4 ========= $2,100.00 / 3 ========= $ 700.00
+ 15% = $805.00 GFW
Basically to keep your lovely wife at bay you must buy her $805.00 worth
of extra non-holiday no-strings attached gifts during the course of the
year. This will keep her from ripping your head off regarding your cigar
purchases. Now I know this seems pretty steep, but keep in mind once you
are married twelve years the number drops to a measly $201.25. Trust me my
friend this will be the best money ever spent - the formula WORKS!
Steve Saka
http://www.cigarnexus.com
Marital Bliss Calculator
Enter Accountable Cigar Purchases (ACP):
Enter Stealth Cigar Purchases (SCP):
Enter Years Married (YM):
Press the button when you're ready to see your required gifts for your wife (GFW):
Gifts for Wife (GFW):
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