The Origin of the Term "Dog Rocket"

I was the first ever on the Net to use the term "dog rocket" regarding a cigar. In fact, it is part and parcel of the MOTT rating system. You will not find it in the FAQ because my name has been banished from it - including the parts that I authored.

However, I can not take credit for inventing the phrase "Dog Rocket." Here is the true origin of the word - the story is paraphrased because I obviously don't remember the exact words.

I began smoking cigars while in the Navy back in 1985 or so. I was a young Third Class Petty Officer attached to the USS Connole FF-1056. It was an active duty anti-sub fast frigate that was constantly at sea - easily 8-9 months a year as part of Reagan's 600 ship Navy. Anyhow there was one Senior Chief Gunner on the ship who was a huge cigar fan, and almost every sunset he and others would gather on the fantail (back end) to smoke a cigar or two while we were at sea. He was a crusty old character full of stories and lies, and I use to really relish going to join the group for a smoke whenever I wasn't on watch or behind workwise. He was our resident cigar, quim, and general life expert.

We had this new Annapolis grad Ensign assigned to our ship in 1987(?) that was an absolute prick. He thought everyone that was enlisted was scum, and treated all of us junior petty officers very poorly - I was a second class at this time. Even the senior officers hated this guy. We called him not so affectionately Ensign Weasel - plus some other names. Anyhow one evening we are all standing on fantail smoking and lying during the middle of a long Med-Cruise - six months tour - and here comes Ensign Weasel with a yellow box of cigars. We all thought that maybe he was coming to join us??? Of course not...

Ensign Weasel: "Gunny I bought this box of cigars for my future father-in-law while we were in France, they are suppose to be good, but I feel like the store might of taken me - would you try one for me and tell me what you think? I would, but I don't smoke..."

Senior: "No problem Sir, but won't your bride's Dad be mad one is missing?"

Ensign: "Not as upset if I gave him a really lousy box of cigars - I will tell him I had you try one."

Senior lays his bundled maduro robusto down and selects one of the torps form the Ensign's box, he looks at it, takes a smell, then bites the cap off and lights it. He takes a draw, and gets a funny looks on his face, then takes another and damn near spits it out. As he tosses the barely smoked cigar of the back into the water he exclaims, "Sir, this is one of the worst G'Damn DOG ROCKETS I have ever put in mouth!!! How much did you pay for these Stinking Turds?!?!"

Weasel's face dropped, and you could see the anger building as the thought of him getting taken advantage of became crystal clear in his pathetic whitebread mind. He swore some, then was about to toss the entire box off the back.

Senior quickly raised his hand, "Whoa Sir - don't toss those, those would make a great joke for the Chief Lounge! Let me use to gig the Chiefs, and when we pull into Spain I will go cigar shopping with you, and we can pick out a great box of cigars for your Dad."

Personally we were all surprised to hear Senior offer to help this prick, as was the Ensign. Some cordial banter followed with him quickly agreeing to the offer, Senior got the box of "dog rockets", and the Ensign walked away saying "thank you" to Senior for his promise of help. Even Ensign Weasel realized how important being a friend of the SC was onboard.

Once out of sight, Senior opened the box and said, "Here ya' go boys, smoke your first Cuban cigar..." with a sly grin.

It was a box of Cuban Diplomaticos No. 2s. and it was the best smoke I had ever smoked at the time - far better than Senior's bundled el'cheapos. :>

This is the origin of the phrase "dog rocket", and I have been using it ever since. It gained popularity in the group and has now become a common phrase.

Steve Saka